growing up.

being a grown-up is hard.

i know you could say this is just another "grass is greener" moment, but seriously, sometimes i wonder why i ever wanted to rush the growing up process. when i was little i remember watching my older sisters get their licenses and jobs and i envied how busy their lives were. they always had people to see and places to go. i didn't. i longed for the day that i could join their club. now that i'm in that club, i wish i was a kid. the older you get, the more stuff you have on your plate. there are more bills to pay, more errands to run, more boys to date, more friends to get together with and really, it's just exhausting.

and it's not just that there is a lot of stuff to do. as you get older, the things on your to do list get harder. there are hard decisions that need to be made, hard conversations that need to be had, situations that involve insurance or savings... and let's just make sure to mention that strange phenomenon--that i swear, the more money you make, the less you feel you have. it's a horrible feeling. and then i remember that there are people in other countries who have nothing. literally nothing. and then i feel even more horrible.

i now know that it will be my life goal to make sure the kids around me enjoy their childhood. there is a time when every one is required to grow up, but i'm gonna make sure they don't do it too soon (and to not long for that time) because it's not as glamorous as they might imagine.




.....15 minutes later....




i just got off a phone call that i've been dreading, and procrastinating, for 6 months. well, procrastinating for 3, dreading for another 3. and you know what. it wasn't worth my anxiety. people are good. and although growing up is not as easy as childhood, i'm grateful for those people in my life who help me in my growing-up process.